people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
