I don't usually arrange sex via text message
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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