fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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