I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
