Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
