I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
