My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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