wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
