So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
