apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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