tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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