i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
