On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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