I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm too high and old for this...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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