If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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