so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
