i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
