So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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