So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
