hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
