guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
