I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
