Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
