I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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