And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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