***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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