oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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