HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
