physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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