In the future we'll all be gay
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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