Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
