I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
