Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
