My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
