I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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