Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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