Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
