Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
