one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
