i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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