we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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