let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
