I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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