it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
