dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
