do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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