On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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