and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't put those talents on a resume
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
