the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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