Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
