I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the condom got lost in my hair
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
